By Ford, Frank Bernard
A couple who pronounced. Everything perfectly, American with a whiff of British.
Accent is too strong a term; one could, of course, say affectation, but we all
affect, so what's the point?
They had taste in everything, style, were precise in everything.
Then one night, heading out to the very best French restaurant, he says he'll
get the cur. No humor here..they had no dog...well not ever anything so obvious
and debased, no matter what.
He never again mispronounced car or any other word, but she inexplicably started
aging. Diacritical marks on her face, like words marked up in the International
Phonetic Alphabet. Well similar - I'm just playing and I shouldn't. They were
my friends - as best three academics could manage.
And as she aged he stayed youthful. I started calling him, secretly, Dorian
Gray of the IPA, after Oscar Wilde's work.
How perfect John Betjamin in his poem depicting the sad end of that poet! Wit
within convention. Why oh why can't other artists follow that example? That
is, the tradition hands us perfectly lovely frames. We consumers of the arts
do not have the time or patience for the periodic dismantling of them by those
with wild eyes and shabby backgrounds.
At any rate, she has metamorphosised to Very Early Alzheimer's; he performs
the perfect waiter.
And although she does pronounce every word, it's a scramble as to any meaning
for hovering him.
Well what does anything mean, anyway? It's all simply a deal we make with each
other, you must agree.
PEEK
Ftrain.com is the website of Paul Ford and his pseudonyms. It is showing its age. I'm rewriting the code but it's taking some
time.
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About the author: I've been running this website from 1997. For a living I write stories and essays, program computers, edit
things, and help people launch online publications. (LinkedIn). I wrote a novel. I was an editor at Harper's Magazine for five years; then I was a Contributing Editor; now I am a free agent. I was also on NPR's All Things Considered for a while. I still write for The Morning News, and some other places.
If you have any questions for me, I am very accessible by email. You can email me at ford@ftrain.com and ask me things and I will try to answer. Especially if you want to clarify something or write something critical. I am
glad to clarify things so that you can disagree more effectively.
«A Tragedy Anent The International Phonetic Alphabet
»
POKE
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© 1974-2011 Paul Ford
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